Pushing Through The Pain

Pushing Through The Pain

Being the daughter of a pastor isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. People always expected so much from me all the time. The majority of my teenage years all I did was try to get closer to God. Then there was shift in my life. When I was 18, something happened to someone very close to me in church and from that point on I thought I needed a break from church.  From there I started making all the wrong decisions! I started dating a drug dealer and quickly became pregnant. I knew that I didn’t want that life for my child so I left that boyfriend alone (he didn’t want a baby anyway).  When my son was about a year I started dating my ex husband. Have you ever felt like you just didn’t want to be alone? That’s how I felt and I just wanted to be married. So we got married, had a baby, and the marriage only lasted about two years. We then separated. I felt so much pain! I kept letting my family down knowing we had an image to uphold. I just failed at everything! I was a single mother working a decent job and taking care of my babies alone (with the support of my parents of course). I felt so empty and tired of everything. Finally, I decided that enough was enough and went back to church consistently. Being human we always tend to make promises to God. Only he knows if we really plan on keeping them.

“Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say on the Lord.” Psalms 27:14

I am one of those people who forgive and love everyone. Whatever was done to me, I wouldn’t dwell on it. As soon as I put God first in my life again, my situation changed almost immediately! The blessings came from everywhere! I was blessed with a nice two bedroom apartment and I really needed my space. Then God sent me my wonderful husband! It’s funny how God works because I met my husband in high school and really just wanted to be his friend. I knew he was interested in me at that time but I had no clue how much until we reconnected. Now we are happily married with three children! He didn’t even hesitate to make my children our children! Everyday I thank God for keeping my mind and heart and allowing me to love my husband unconditionally. All I did was wait on the Lord. Sometimes we want to do things in our own time and that’s where we run into these crazy situations. God may not move when you want him to but he is always on time! God is such a jealous God and all he wants is a relationship with us. We make time for relationships with everyone else. What about God? Is there something in your life that you desire? If it is God’s will then you shall have whatever it is (when he says so). I pushed through the pain, can you?

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalms 37:4

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10 thoughts on “Pushing Through The Pain

  1. I feel like being a Christian there are these expectations put on you, but people fail to realize that you are human. Even though you fall and make mistakes through this journey called life, you take your situation, learn from it and be a testimony for someone else. Sometimes we have to go through things in life I’m order for us to be where God needs us to be. You’re doing just what He wants you to do. Great post!

  2. It’s very hard being a PK’s kid, or any Christians kid. I like that you acknowledged that and was bold enough to share it. But know this with all the things you think you did wrong, God will use to help and minister to others. That’s where ministry comes from, what we overcame. You did a great job. Don’t expect more than God expects from you. He loves you and there’s so much grace for you. Love you. Thanks for sharing

  3. Hey Sis! It takes a strong person to dispose personal information, but through your words come forth the desire to empower and redirect other young women towards making informed decisions. What I love most about God, is that no matter how wretched we think we are, He looks past what the world deems as “ugly”, and He sees our potential. Everything that we go through in life, no matter how painful it may be at the time we are going through it, is for a reason. One thing that I’ve learned is to give God thanks for everything… yes, even the negative circumstances, and the people that may have used and abused me. They make think that they are getting away, but I stand on God’s word that vengeance is His. He turns our ashes into something beautiful. Your blog is a stepping stone in the right direction. Keep praying, keep seeking and keep blogging, and the rest He’ll set in order when He comes… 🙂

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